I look at the sermon and i feel uninspired myself.. perhaps i'm not spirit led nor God led? I dunno. So distracted, so tired.. I really just want to make it through this weekend then decide how to live from then on.

School tml, bible study, bbq, sat morning work then sermon. I hope my sick body can take it.. seems on the verge of collapse. and i still want to exercise cause i feel fat and blobbish. Want to buy CNY clothes also thinking twice because i think i'll look bad in everything.

I keep telling myself just to keep pressing on, don't give up, dont give up. Everything's going to be fine.

Even now i'm quite worried about what to do after graduation. Should i dedicate the one year to full time first? I know alot of people will advise against it and for various reasons, but i'm really not sure.. God please show me a sign.