gonna sleep soon i guess? last night couldn't sleep even though i laid on the bed since 1.. and only knocked out about 4? the 3 hours of just struggling and crying was horrid. woke up at 740 when i was supposed to be in woodlands by 715! sigh.

i know and i'll just have to keep trusting God. yea i guess its no coincidence that these things happen when u start to pray for people, start to fast, yes this is a spiritual attack. and its only been 2 days. i think the crying part and staying awake for such a long time just drained me out, prayed and all, but still remained the same. experience? tough one. i really pray that one day i will not have to shed anymore tears over these issues.. so many years already, and it still seems to be here. i wonder why..

love is patient and love is kind. just these 2 attributes and i've already failed the loving-a-person test. haha. loving is hard yes? i love..

i think i might just be on a computer fast until the end of my exams. i know by doing so, i'll be able to study alot more productively.. do whatever that is best, not just what is good. but yet i think i'll feel very sad because i'll be left out of alot of stuff.. nowadays i actually do feel quite left out in many things, but what can i say? or who can i say to? i just smile and move on (or just do things by myself to tire myself out)..

God will make a way when there seems to be no way i hope. one day.. one day, i will be free from all this.. i know i will. and i know God will..

one day..