Thursday, December 31, 2009
i really like to blog while on the bed.. its quite cool, it is like one of the "laidback" things that i can get to do once in awhile..
it'll be nice to lie on the beach or on a sun chair and blog too, sounds cool and relaxing but in actual fact it is not very practical. i loveeee to burst my own bubbles of hidden joy..haha.
20 by March 2010 - new cell goal.. need to speak life into this, 20 is just but a number, something tangible to measure the Commandment He gave - to make disciples of all the nations.
1 salvation in 2009 only, come on 2010 gotta have more, loving God needs to translate into loving people as well. Love is patient and love is kind.. i failed just reading this two points on love. i am neither patient nor kind.. not yet at least, not in my own eyes at least. perhaps high standards has been my "downfalls" but hey, everyone's entitled to their own opinions aren't they?
nevertheless this isn't about throwing mud at myself. been reading 4th dimension by Ps Cho Yonggi. it is mind blowing and amazing.. the stories within are so simple and yet so powerful. sometimes there is really much more in the simplicity of life, no wonder Jesus said we should go to Him with a childlike faith, there is no need to overcomplicate simple stuff. just have faith!
up to this point, not too sure if i'm making much sense about anything.. i do suppose my mind is in a whole maze of thoughts, there are some dead ends, there are some winding paths. regardless, there will still be a way out.
looking at 2010, (besides world cup) i think there are many things to look forward to.. or be worried about. it is hard to choose between the two actually. both are considered "objectives" to keep going forward.. e.g. worry - exams! it is a huge thing on my mind, esp with 6 modules to cover (i promise not to skip any classes in 2010) but yet it is something that i have to keep walking towards and i eventually will have to sit for it and overcometh the dragon from london.
i look forward to serving even more in ministry, being able to plan more stuff and def to grow the cell from 13 to 20 to 40. like the thought of that makes me soooooooooo excited (x infinite) but i also know the work ahead is gonna be massive for me.. plus! still gotta work to upkeep bankloan as well as the laptop installment. oh how i lament that i did not have earthly provision to do so. but where man fails, God provides and God provides so much that His name will be glorified. amen!
i can't really remember what i wrote down on my paper for last year's watchnight. HAHA. :) but i do know what wasn't fulfilled.. why ah. i know the answer but i still wonder and to a certain extent, insistently question why is it like that. all in His time.. trust? yup perhaps..
i'm still bouncing off the maze walls.. here, there, everywhere (quack quack). and usually i joke when i say i'm fat. but i really really realised the impact of not running for two months already.. flabby and unfit and out of shape! oh my goodness.. (i heard the knives sharpening to stab me for my lack of sensitivity) need to get back to the push ups, sit ups and really running soon. my knee's giving me problems at night and in the morning because i cannot stretch fully.. it seems to have a knot inside or something, hurts at times.. please be healed soon so that i can enter into the secret place where my heart can be free.. :)
this particular blog post so far is not designed to make any sense! so if you've read until here, well done. hope your brain's not too confused in "my maze". random note, praying that 2 people do get together, they seem perfect for each other, i hope the guy makes a move or something.. sitting down and listening to two of them talk, just sense they'll be good for one another..haha. but i might be wrong also! :)
am so tired but just feel like blogging? all the random thoughts from me. positive confession! i am gonna do well for my exams, so gonna get in shape, cell will become a zone, ministry will be stronger, clean up my room, no more financial worries, find my lifey soon, get to go hillsongs conference or a mission trip, make more friends and keep friends. dunno what else i might have missed out.. can be quite a scatterbrain at night.
speaking of which.. i think strong infrastructure is one of the keys to growth, organisation of resources is essential to maximising the output from the inputs. doesn't make sense? well it does to me. the infrastructure of a bowl must be strong and tight enough to ensure that when water is poured into it, there will be no leaks. sure if too much water is poured into it, there will be an overflow.. however the overflow is something that is planned for and therefore there will be an even bigger bowl to contain the excess water. brilliant? i think so too.. haha.
alright think i've said enough... for now. dear reader, hope you're not too confused! remember you've just walked through a maze of thoughts and well, you're kinda at the end of it.. or so you think. actually, don't need to think laaaaaa. keep everything simple and life will be fine. night!
Till i see You once again..,
Time: 1:56 AM
Saturday, December 26, 2009
i look back at 2007 posts and i freak out.
Merry Christmas.. or so it says. rain rain rain, in every aspect. i think i am an extremely hard person to please. I might laugh on the outside but actually am crashing within. Can't wait for 2009 to be over.. not that i know 2010 will be like 100000 times better but 2009 is just.. like that.
Family gathering strangely feel okay even with the out of tune carols and super off beat singing.. i did drift in and out with my thoughts and all, feel stuffed with food but devoid of sentiment. I dare say that i'm actually quite ruthless in the way i deal with things in my life.. or even towards the people i love and care for. i really don't think anyone will understand what i'm saying.. or me for that matter, but who's complaining? Life still has to go on somehow.. i'll find a path, any path, the right path.
Merry Box-mas.
Till i see You once again..,
Time: 1:25 AM
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Unshakeable with tears in my eyes.
I think this path that i have to take now is really one that has to be walked alone.
God help me.
Till i see You once again..,
Time: 10:23 AM
