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A Simple
Diary
take it or leave it
other places to find me: facebook twitter :) Blog started: 23/12/07

autobiographpy
i'm a person who loves God, loves others and love myself.

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  • make noise

    recollect
  • December 2007
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  • February 2008
  • March 2008
  • April 2008
  • May 2008
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  • November 2008
  • December 2008
  • January 2009
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  • November 2009
  • December 2009
  • January 2010
  • February 2010
  • March 2010
  • January 2011
  • March 2011
  • April 2011

    credits
    Layout: rapt♥
    Host: x

    • Tuesday, March 22, 2011
    Undisclosed Post 3

    I have roughly about 2 months to my exams and i honestly haven't really started. That's one of the things that is bugging me constantly. Can't do anything else in peace with that at the back (or the front) of my mind.

    Its quite hard to concentrate and i do hope i'll make it somehow. A weird part of me wishes that it was rewound to last year's March. Sure it was super painful and alot of other things. But it is so much more focused than this year. It was hell but yet, it was worth it at the end.

    What's this year? It feels like crap so far. The truth is that i can never get away from here so i'll just make do with everything that is present. Obviously i would love a restart button, but nope it's not practical.

    I feel very trapped inside. Not too sure why also. Seems to be many things bugging me. Perhaps my idealistic mind has gotten a hold of me. I think i need to learn to accept the facts or rather, just accept everything as it is, don't struggle, don't fight and leave it.

    Passive si what i am already, now i'm even more passive and going with the flow. I feel that i've lost a huge part of myself, lost respect and love of my friends. Am i alone? Yes i think so at times. Compared to last year, this year is just a shadow of what i can be. And yet this is the year of fulfillment. Fulfill what? The ability to mess everything up?

    On some level, i think im really depressed as well. My heart is so weak and i'm barely holding on. Just by a thread, or something that is thinner than a thread. My only hope is that i don't cause anymore screw ups. Its pathetic how things are. From striving for greater things to just hoping i don't mess up anymore.

    How did everything become like this? Mistakes. Indecisiveness. All qualities that are bad for a person, supposedly to be a man of God. True men don't keep making the same freaking mistake over. But i am such. How many times already? Like an idiot.

    All i just ask, dear Lord, is for everything to be somehow fine. That's all.

    Or well, take me away to heaven. Or somewhere else.

    Till i see You once again..,
    Time: 9:49 PM

    Saturday, March 19, 2011

    Life doesn't have to always be this hard does it?

    My Letter to God. Please answer it Lord, please. In the way that is best and perfect for all.

    Please Lord. i already have so much of the fighting at home and disagreements. i do not want anymore in my life. I might just go emotional or go crazy.

    All i ask is for You to come through.

    Please Lord.

    Till i see You once again..,
    Time: 3:06 AM