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A Simple
Diary
take it or leave it
other places to find me: facebook twitter :) Blog started: 23/12/07

autobiographpy
i'm a person who loves God, loves others and love myself.

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  • Monday, September 28, 2009
    Monday!

    Ahhh. monday is over.. finally. 830am to 630pm in school is really not a joke at all..

    830 class was super packed for no reason but it was interesting actually.. elements of social and applied psychology is a rather interesting module compared to sociology and no, unlike the general belief, this module does not teach you how to read people's minds. :) as to what it is, i'm still learning about it, think it'll be interesting for sure. just gotta write lots of essays..

    after class had lunch with my friends and waited the afternoon away for the next class to begin. Human Resource Management. haha another interesting module.. the 1st half was about the exam format, notes, readings etc etc until i fell asleep. the best one was my head leaning on my hand which is balancing on the elbow on the table... and my elbow slips off. :) another embarrassing day at school for me! :) but after the break, it was quite interesting to see the difference between personnel management and human resource management. the perceptions of employers varies greatly..

    i'm honestly beginning to like school a little more, because i'm able to put in effort and study and do well for it, like something that i can work towards to and something that i'm in control of.. and i guess i don't feel terrible about myself compared to last year. i think last year was just horrid.. loneliness and low self esteem and everything negative possible was swaming around me, but this year, it is improving.. just learning to be confident the way i am in the Lord.

    although i still feel that deep hole inside. its interesting how God created us like this.. some days like this, it just comes so strongly and it hurts actually. but yet i'm unable to really say it out? haha. i'm not sure also. some prayers never seem to be answered.. or needs patience, LOTS of it. it is not even a question of Why God? it is more of a When God? question.. sigh. i sure hope soon.. or at least it gets thrown out of my mind soon enough.. :|

    oh well. thought alot about my past, from childhood to now.. reflected alot, felt abit sad because i had a wishlist of Dos and Donts that can never be fulfilled because it is all in the past. but then its alright cause the future will be so much more exciting than before! haha. i sure hope so too at least..

    alright time to hit the bed. 645am at NYP isn't that funny of a joke.. haha. goodnight world!

    Till i see You once again..,
    Time: 11:03 PM

    Sunday, September 27, 2009
    Sunday.... awaiting Monday.

    here i am once again!

    been almost a week since i had my last entry..

    Today is sunday and tml is monday (of course.)

    and tml marks the start of my life proper for the next 6 to 8 months of balancing work and study and ministry as well, its gonna be a real tough challenge i guess? :) actually very tough. but can la.. just really need to discipline myself. pray and pray, study and study, work and work..

    and on the way to dinner, i just had a "revelation" that i have ALOT to study. was trying to study Principles of Marketing on the way.. and its only like half a chapter and i already find abit hard to memorize. then i thought of how i gotta do Principles of Accounts, Human Resource Management, Elements of Social and Applied Psychology and re-module Econs as well as Stats..
    AHHH! :)

    And that's just school.

    well, work is just work. :) it will always be known for its urine and stool. and its normal to say you have a shitty day! cause thats what we collect anyway.. haha. :)

    and ministry! growing the cell group will not be easy.. need to disciple and then do follow up and then drag new ones back and then scold the old ones. :)

    the only way i'm going to make it through... is to seek God first. human effort i think i will do well for awhile then die off because its only God's supernatural strength and joy that will get me through! He has and is always faithful and true, a tower of refuge. As He is, so are we..

    and that's my call:

    to be light of world and salt of the earth, to be all things to all man so that some might be saved..


    Gotta press on! Even though i have emotions that are really haywired and swinging weirdly, even though i so very much want to get attached, even though i feel hard pressed on every side, His call is my purpose and i will press on..



    Till i see You once again..,
    Time: 9:45 PM

    Tuesday, September 22, 2009
    Prawn-ed!

    Today i went prawning with the comm + 2nd liners and most importantly, we are all friends with each other. :)

    it was megaly fun! even though it rained quite heavily in the afternoon and it was rather damp, but it was still fun nonetheless.. :) i initially didn't really want to prawn because it was expensive and it was the end of the month.. so.. but Gabs and Michelle was very kind to pay for me to prawn together with them. haha and the best part wasn't the act of using the rod to catch the prawns but rather, aiming to catch the prawns with bare hands! haha. did not succeed today but 1 day surely will do so. :)

    ate lots for the bbq, (prawns la, what else? everyone catches but no one really eats it! :) )had lots of fun laughing at so many things, talking to different people around. seeing people eat raw prawns as well.. oh my. haha. raw fish i can take, but raw prawns for me is just.. different. haha. oh well, there was a prize for the top prawn catchers and it was Leon and Bert..haha. both the science students combining their powers to be the top prawn-ers while pwning the rest of us and they get 2 movie tickets! haha.

    gonna head to sleep now.. full and tired and heading to Jurong Island the next day, oh Lord please give me strength.



    Suffering produces Perseverance

    Perseverance produces Character

    Character produces Hope.

    Till i see You once again..,
    Time: 12:51 AM

    Saturday, September 19, 2009
    Stitch.

    its been more than a week since i last blogged and many things have happened since then actually..

    but i'm just so tired to write them all down, the burdens and the thoughts are too heavy.

    the ability to hit the highest peak and the lowest valley in a matter of hours is just.. mind twisting. but then again, that is how human emotions is like. either your emotions decide or your decisions decide your emotions, its a tough choice.

    when a stitch (stomach cramp, not the alien) comes, stretching is needed.

    that's something i realised as i was running the Mizuno wave run 2009, 16km. oh can you imagine this? reaching the water point and hoping to drink some H20 only to be told that there is no more cups! i wonder how they plan..

    yes sometimes when i run, then i'll be inspired to write sermons (a bit hard ah no pen and paper plus unstable sweaty hands) and one of the sermons i thought of is Running the Race. and one of the points is what happens when stitch (again not the alien) comes. Stitches can be attributed to several causes, the well known ones being either too much intake of water or the lack of stretching. whatever the cause, its the reaction that counts when stitches hit. it can be so painful that you either choose to run slower then normal, stop completely and give in OR decide to run on and stretch along the way.

    its easier to run slower.. it is easier to stop completely but it is not easy to decide to run on and stretch, the breathe out on alternate foots, swing the body in the opposite direction of the stitch. along this race, we will face stitches but a little stretching never hurts. cause stretching will take away the stretch and give us the momentum (another sermon point) to run on.

    perhaps today the stitch might seem overwhelming and super duper painful.. but how about asking God for some stretching? :) it'll help overcome the stitch and plus make you an ever better person.

    hang in there!


    oh yes i enjoyed myself tremendously.. different group of people that i normally don't hang out with..but it was really fun. never knew that it could be that much fun.. relaxing, no tension, no stress, just being myself.


    Till i see You once again..,
    Time: 2:06 AM

    Friday, September 11, 2009
    The Importance of Tithing!

    The Importance of Tithing

    The first mention of tithing comes in numbers 18:21, it essentially was about God telling the Levites (who were the people taking care of the Tabernacle where God’s presence dwelled) that whether the people gave to them as a “thank you gift”, 1/10 of it should be returned back to God.

    Tithing in general or in essence is the giving or returning of 10% of what God has blessed us with

    What else does the Bible say about tithing?

    Deuteronomy 14:22

    Be sure to set aside a tenth of all that your fields produce each year

    Malachi 3:8

    Will a man rob God? Yet you rob Me “But you ask, ‘How do we rob you?’ “In tithes and offerings

    Let’s emphasize just a little bit more on Malachi 3:8,

    God is the God of all the universe, He owns the cattle on a thousand hill, He created every single thing that we see today in nature and yet He says it is possible for us to rob Him? Pretty interesting logic don’t you think so? When we are supposed to give a tenth of our income (allowances for most of us), we use the money for something else that we think it is important. When the Holy Spirit impresses upon our heart to give a certain amount, we think its just something weird thought or even the devil telling us to give! The devil actually tells you to give nothing to God!

    But because God is so full of grace and mercy; Grace is the getting the gifts that we do not deserve and Mercy is not getting the judgement / punishment that we deserve. He still gives us abundant blessing, ensures that we are taken care of with shelter and food over our head, gives you and me confidence to walk with our heads high because He is watching over us and will never leave us no matter what. That’s our God!

    And more than that, our God speaks to us clearly later after Malachi 3:8 what will happen if we do start to tithe and obey His commands! Remember what we learnt last week in Deut 28? It talks about the blessing of God when we begin to obey His commandments!

    Malachi 3: 10 - 12

    “Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this, “ says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not cast their fruit, “ says the Lord Almighty. “Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be delightful land, “ says the Lord Almighty.

    There are 4 effects of tithing (and thus, the important of tithing)

    1.) Throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it

    2.) I will prevent the pests from devouring your crops

    3.) The vines in your fields will not cast their fruit

    4.) Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be delightful land

    Throw open the floodgates and be overwhelmed!

    What is a floodgate? It is something used to restrict or to restrain an outburst! You see, God has always been blessing us, everything we have is a blessing from God. God of course does not want to “restrict” the blessings on our lives but we must learn that the promise of God always comes with a condition. In Deut 28, His abundant blessings on our lives will come when we obey Him. In Joshua 1, God tells Joshua he will be prosperous and successful only if he obeys God’s commands and meditate on His word. The promise of eternal life is in John 3:16 but it comes with a condition, to believe in Him. And the same thing with us, we want financial breakthrough and freedom then we must learn to understand the condition that comes with the promise.

    And when we begin to fulfil the condition of tithing, the promise of the floodgates of heaven opening on us will begin to take place. Not just normal blessings, but abundant blessings and it will overflow and overflow and overflow so much that we will not have enough room for it! It is similar to taking a 1.5 litre of water and pouring it into a shot glass, get the idea? And that’s what God wants to do in our lives! Share with you guys something personal, i didn’t use to tithe consistently, only when i could “afford” it actually, but since the start of this year, i promised God to really give Him 10% of my allowance / income no matter what, even if i had to forsake some stuff and God has been faithful! He has blessed me above and beyond all that i could ask or imagine! J wanna find out more? Then stayed tuned for the session on Faith Tithing on two weeks! Be prepared to be blown away by God’s goodness. It IS possible to be overwhelmed by the blessings of God, to have not just enough but more than enough and overflowing!

    I will prevent the pests from devouring your crops

    Haha this is an interesting promise especially considering that none of us are farmers here! J but back in those days, they did not have jobs like marketing manager, sales persons etc, and the only source of survival or income is growing their own crops. And how many of us know that growing crops is not easy? (even though we are not farmers HAHA) and how many of us know that pests like crops? (again HAHA) Crops represented the source of income in those times and when we take it in our context today, it is essentially God saying that He will NOT let anyone or anything destroy our income when we decide to tithe 10% to God. Pests like sickness, depression, like recession will not affect our income, let’s be honest with one another, the global did not really affect Singapore as much as the other countries because God is protecting us, and in our recession we managed to clear our building loan of 1.6 million SGD!

    He is able to ensure that nothing will touch your income and when you lose your source of income, you can be assured it is temporary and something much better will come your way. He will prevent the pests from devouring our crops!

    The vines in your field will not cast their fruit

    I was looking through dictionary.com and through the millions of definition of the word ‘cast’, one of the most intriguing one that i found is ‘to give birth prematurely’; e.g. the cow cast a calf. It means premature birth.

    What is a fruit that is born prematurely? Unripe fruit! Does it taste nice? Nope! Ever eaten an unripe banana? It is quite bitter or tasteless and hard. But ripe fruit or in this case we use ripe bananas, it tastes like it should taste and should be soft too.

    The uses of Grape Vines was quite interesting actually, not only just for wine but also for healing purposes. The sap is used to cure skin and eye diseases, leaves were being used to stop bleeding and pain, ripe grapes were used for the treatment of cancer, cholera, skin and eye irritations, kidney and liver diseases as well.

    Growing of grapes or vines that grows grapes will take about 6 months? In the northern hemisphere it is from march to about September or October and in the southern hemisphere it is from September to either march or April.

    What good is a fruit that is unripe? There are things for in our lives that we are praying for in our lives to come to past but it needs to come in the right time! The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing (of course some of us can’t wait.. ) God will bring the right thing to pass at the right time for us amen?

    All the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be delightful land

    When the blessings in your life overflow, when your income is stable or increases tremendously, when the issues or things in your life that you are praying for comes to pass in your life, people are going to take notice and see! And therefore all around will call you blessed because you are filled with the joy of the Lord, you are filled with the abundant blessings of the Lord.

    When you are the light, it cannot be hidden. Because God has not created our light to be hidden nor our light to be the “quiet” type. Light is no matter what, still bright and piercing in the darkness.

    Tithing as we can see is MORE than just giving 10% of our income, to be honest, God does not need our money because He is the one who gave it to us and He owns the cattle on a thousand hills! It is more for our benefit that God says we must tithe!

    Till i see You once again..,
    Time: 1:34 AM

    Thursday, September 10, 2009
    TGIW

    thank God its wednesday. :)

    Woke up today to choose my time table for this coming semester..
    and also told my mum about my results =S

    sighs. oh well.. i think my timetable is not too bad:

    Mon 830 to 1130 Elements of Social and Applied Pyschology
    1530 to 1830 Human Resource Management

    Wed 1200 to 1500 Statistics 1

    Thurs 830 to 1130 Principles of Marketing
    1200 to 1500 Principles of Accounts


    Its gonna be quite a tough year ahead! but really gotta be disciplined and study hard to get my 1st class honours. Was looking through the 2009 batch of 1st Class Honours students' results.. most of them did quite badly in the 1st year but then really worked hard in the 2nd and 3rd year to pull their grades up. So it offers a glimmer of hope to me, just gota keep trying and really putting in the effort to study and revise. Not to mention i'll be working on the free mornings as well, and plus ministry, its going to be an interesting year of balance. But i'm convinced that God is able to do exceedingly above and beyond all that i can think or ask for.

    i think i should sleep soon. tml is gonna be some sort of a long day.. need to wake up early to swim, meet JJ and CC for lunch, cut hair, head down to church for MLM.

    and try to install a dual boot (Mac OS X) on my lappy for fun. :)


    oh yes, i'll blog about tithing tml! :) goodnight..

    Till i see You once again..,
    Time: 2:24 AM

    Wednesday, September 9, 2009
    Tuesday! 08/09/09

    saw these hornbills feasting on ripe papayas at ubin! :) too bad i was using an N82, if DSLR then can take a clearer and nicer shot. :)

    haha. spent the whole day with uni friends actually.. met them at about 1130 to go ubin where we just cycled around the whole island. the mountain bike trail, the upslopes and downslopes, the offroads from time to time as well.. ahah this is my 3rd time to ubin this year already and plus going one more time in nov, think i should become like a PR over there. :D

    haha. we ended at about 245 with nice, cold, sweet coconuts! it was lovely to drink such cooling stuff under such a killer weather. (found out later i got a t shirt tan -.-) we sat down and talked and decided to meet another friend of ours at marina square swensens for tea? or rahter, super late lunch at 430pm .. haha. after that we went to pennisular plaza to get new clothes. 2 plain tees and 2 berms for me! only at $49.. thank God.

    my pay also came in today actually, about THREE days late. had several of the Daysprings temp staff complain to me why it was coming in so late.. i really hope that the same thing (late pay) will not happen the next month. small things like this explains the small unhappiness that several of them have.. but yup!

    Ephesians 3:20

    "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine according to His power that is at work within us"


    i personally experience last month and this month in terms of the pay! :) God always challenges me to give a certain amount.. and of course its like 10% of the pay.. but based on calculations i wouldn't be able to get that amount in order to give that 10% that God impress upon my heart. but God has not only done 1 time but 2 times already! really beyond human imgination or calculation, He blesses me! and its really immeasurably more than i ask or imagine!

    its called Faith Tithing! :) Tithing in faith for the next pay. i love that concept because it requires so much faith and God really loves faith and God answers prayer.

    Thank you Jesus. You're truely amazing.. im so blown away by Your kindness and Your grace towards me..

    if you read this blog entry and you're inspired, then do something about it! :) bless you readers.

    Till i see You once again..,
    Time: 12:35 AM

    Tuesday, September 8, 2009
    skin change!

    haha hello.

    did a simple skin change today.. there are still some minor tweaks to be done but abit lazy, maybe i'll do it tml? see how..haha.

    been about a week since i last blogged. guess what? the green beans are dead. :( either too much water, too little sunlight or it just cannot survive for long.. haha. but thats fine. it was fun growing them while it lasted..

    well! yesterday had a great time of soccer from 7 to about 10? :) long time no work out like that. used the new boots too, its awesome actually. i really like it.. white and nice. but i think i overstrained my knee when i took a shot. it was swollen last night.. thank God its much better now. wanted to swim or run today but decided not to do so. tml got a whole day of cycling to do..

    well. since friday it has been a huge struggle for me(if you follow my twitter post you'll see it) even up till last night. im not saying that i'm fine today but its still a struggle.. sometimes i really wish i dint have to go through it this many times.. whats the outcome? i'm not sure either.. do i ask? i'm afraid and therefore i'm resigned to it.

    i realised anyway, CHC-KL has alot of awesome podcasts! haha. new stuff to listen to and get inspired and fed.. was listening to CHC SG Ps Kong's David and Goliath also, very inspiring. although i'll prob listen to it again to write notes. i usually listen once through without any notes, then the 2nd time through i'll write the sermon notes. so how many sermons can 1 take in a day? :) haha. its like eating and eating and snacking and snacking the whole day.. i think as long there's exercise (in this case application), the number of sermons listened to is not an issue..

    haha weirdest thing today: A told B that he/she knows who i like. and B came to ask me who do i like. the huge question is not who i like? but rather, do i even like anyone in the first place? haha i wanna see how this unwraps and find out more also.. people know my feelings before even i do? :)

    oh well. ubin beckons! zzz.

    Till i see You once again..,
    Time: 12:32 AM

    Tuesday, September 1, 2009
    One of those days


    At 7am my fears were realised. in numbers they were..

    its interesting how these numbers determine your life for the next one year, whether you live in fear, or happiness or sadness. the time that is needed to change those numbers around. the price to pay for those numbers is quite heavy and i am so not looking forward to releasing those numbers to numbers conscious people.. haha.

    This plus everything else that i've been feeling / experiencing. Guess it doesn't really rain but pours.. haha. one thing will be settled at a time, really have got to trust God on everything.

    In everything give thanks!

    All things work for the good of those who love Him!

    Our God is faithful and just and will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear!

    Verses that i have got to keep in my heart even as i enter this dark period of time..

    Also! today went to Starbucks @ Central to do cell sermon and cell report. i quite enjoyed the alone time, just typing out stuff, chatting online and observing people around. think i'll do it more for sure! and also sit by the river and do self reflections..

    and sadly, my beans are dying. :(

    oh well, goodnight world.


    Till i see You once again..,
    Time: 11:55 PM